That'd you'd rather behave like an Inmate than a Warden. That you aspire to be hunting down Inmates like animals when they've done nothing wrong! That she -
[She's losing it a bit now. She didn't actually think she could feel any worse but no, this is pretty much the straw breaking the camel's back.]
- that she can't trust you, that you have no respect for anyone here, or anything we're trying to accomplish! You are trying to teach someone not to indulge the worst parts of themselves, do you understand that? You are trying to help your Inmate be someone better. I don't know how you expect to -
[She pauses. Her breathing has gotten ragged.]
Aleera, get some perspective on your job here or just leave. Find another world to live in and go. I cannot watch you get demoted -
[There might have been more, but she cuts herself off.]
I have... Urges. Days this lasted. I rediscovered true joy in the old ways. The memories from that place are difficult to not find satisfaction within.
I must find... What is word? Like pipe with the need to gush with water.
I forget this is job to be here. You are right in this.
Just as it can be difficult to forget the passion for wickedness. Or perhaps not this, but...
Using this passion. Yes. This. The enjoyment found in release.
It is like rich cream and sex. You understand my meaning? The inflicting of death, pain and suffering, like... Addiction? And it was my purpose there to explore it.
I would be lying to write that these memories were not enjoyable.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: Private/Voice
Date: 2011-08-22 06:36 pm (UTC)[IS IT SHEGO?]
Private/Voice
Date: 2011-08-22 06:39 pm (UTC)Try to think of what you're saying to and about everyone here. Think of the message this sends to your Inmate.
Re: Private/Voice
Date: 2011-08-22 06:59 pm (UTC)Private/Voice
Date: 2011-08-22 07:21 pm (UTC)[She's losing it a bit now. She didn't actually think she could feel any worse but no, this is pretty much the straw breaking the camel's back.]
- that she can't trust you, that you have no respect for anyone here, or anything we're trying to accomplish! You are trying to teach someone not to indulge the worst parts of themselves, do you understand that? You are trying to help your Inmate be someone better. I don't know how you expect to -
[She pauses. Her breathing has gotten ragged.]
Aleera, get some perspective on your job here or just leave. Find another world to live in and go. I cannot watch you get demoted -
[There might have been more, but she cuts herself off.]
Private: In writing and a long time later, because you gave her lots to think about...
Date: 2011-08-22 11:56 pm (UTC)I have... Urges. Days this lasted. I rediscovered true joy in the old ways. The memories from that place are difficult to not find satisfaction within.
I must find... What is word? Like pipe with the need to gush with water.
Outlet. Yes. This word.
Private/Text
Date: 2011-08-23 12:05 am (UTC)[...]
I know it must be harder for you than most people to adjust after a flood like this. I'm sorry I snapped at you.
[Seemed to have worked, though.]
Re: Private/Text
Date: 2011-08-23 12:29 am (UTC)Just as it can be difficult to forget the passion for wickedness. Or perhaps not this, but...
Using this passion. Yes. This. The enjoyment found in release.
It is like rich cream and sex. You understand my meaning? The inflicting of death, pain and suffering, like... Addiction? And it was my purpose there to explore it.
I would be lying to write that these memories were not enjoyable.