Private - Dracula (Romanian):
Sep. 28th, 2011 05:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vampish_aleeraVladislaus, do not write to me of respect, of equalities, of our agreement for boundaries, only to cross my affairs in this way.
Yes, I know how you are... I meekly stood by with Verona in disbelief when you told us you would seek another to replace poor Marishka. Not even time to mourn was given and we feared that you would think so fleetingly of us, should our times also come.
It was not my place, in those days, to stand against you. And yes, your pull, was like that of a magnet upon my blood, my heart, made me wish to think such concerns away. To ignore them, because family was our strength.
So, here we are. Another time. A different place. And your pull, here, is weakened, yet I give you my care and support, still. I spoke to you of the need... Of what this place can bestow, amidst the humiliations and horror. That it could renew you, offer life - a new life. That you would no longer have to face oblivion.
You tell me I am respected. That we must be careful. That you claim to understand when I say these things... And now I discover you have not merely sought pleasure in the flesh of another - and that, at least, I could find understanding in. But you have sought it in my student. The one I am expected to guide.
What is worst of all, you do not realise you may have given her the very thing she is meant to AVOID.
It is rare for me to make demands of you and so, I ask only for decision: You will leave her be or I must request another to teach. I cannot have these... Contrivances working against me - and I cannot have annoyance growing within me against her.
You must choose. Do not act like martyr if you feel the desire for this girl will fester and claw at you. This is not about our past and I am not here to police who choose to bed. It is about my teachings.
As selfish as I know I can be, to continue this way is not fair to her.
Yes, I know how you are... I meekly stood by with Verona in disbelief when you told us you would seek another to replace poor Marishka. Not even time to mourn was given and we feared that you would think so fleetingly of us, should our times also come.
It was not my place, in those days, to stand against you. And yes, your pull, was like that of a magnet upon my blood, my heart, made me wish to think such concerns away. To ignore them, because family was our strength.
So, here we are. Another time. A different place. And your pull, here, is weakened, yet I give you my care and support, still. I spoke to you of the need... Of what this place can bestow, amidst the humiliations and horror. That it could renew you, offer life - a new life. That you would no longer have to face oblivion.
You tell me I am respected. That we must be careful. That you claim to understand when I say these things... And now I discover you have not merely sought pleasure in the flesh of another - and that, at least, I could find understanding in. But you have sought it in my student. The one I am expected to guide.
What is worst of all, you do not realise you may have given her the very thing she is meant to AVOID.
It is rare for me to make demands of you and so, I ask only for decision: You will leave her be or I must request another to teach. I cannot have these... Contrivances working against me - and I cannot have annoyance growing within me against her.
You must choose. Do not act like martyr if you feel the desire for this girl will fester and claw at you. This is not about our past and I am not here to police who choose to bed. It is about my teachings.
As selfish as I know I can be, to continue this way is not fair to her.
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[private-Romanian]
Date: 2011-09-28 10:44 am (UTC)You act as if I deliberately tried to undermine you, when really it was the opposite. I took her under wing to try to help her, and you by extension. I had no intentions toward her outside that.
I thought it was all a simple matter of ending up attracted to each other and falling into bed once. And we were already talking about whether it might be a bad idea to continue. Or at least, I was.
How was I to know that she had this agenda under it all, or that the woman is so broken by this...fiance...that she intended to depend on me in precisely the same way? I just found out all of this a few hours ago! To Hell with it--we only lost control with each other yesterday.
I have no desire to get between you and her or cause trouble. There is no reason for ultimatums, especially after the bizarre things she's said today. I will withdraw--
--though I resent you for it. I can't have you, you get annoyed when I have anyone, and you're furious over this even though I'm not the one with an undermining agenda--apparently, she is! I was merely...
Lonely.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 10:10 pm (UTC)It is not that you bed another, so much as that you knew who the other was. One time, one hundred times - quantity is not what I take issue with.
If you wish it to continue, then say so. I appeal only to know how I must act as her teacher. Preening yourself with talk of loneliness is an insult when you refused my gesture to relieve you of it!
Bed whoever you desire. It did not stop you from wishing to take Anna as Verona's replacement and it should not stop you here.
What I ask is to know where my student stands. Please do not mistake this for pettiness.
[Private/Romanian]
Date: 2011-09-28 10:53 pm (UTC)And stop claiming that you're not being petty. You might also have her interests in mind, but you're also doing everything you can to take a piece out of me. Rubbing Anna in my face for the millionth time. Pretending that you offered to relieve my loneliness when all you really did was ask me how much I value you. Acting like I am somehow duplicitous and disrespectful for slipping up once when I have done all this shit attempt at "redemption" just to try and get you back and be able to keep you this time. All for you. But what do you care?
None of this is worth it.
I'm going hunting.
Pre-filtered on the post! :)
Date: 2011-09-29 01:04 am (UTC)You are being childish now and seeking to find in my words an infliction of pain, where there is none. When last I offered my affections, you resisted. I have no interest in hurting you. I have no need to hurt you. And if I did, you already hurt yourself.
Not all who disagree are at war with you, Vladislaus.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-29 01:35 am (UTC)You say I am being childish? I didn't resist your affections, I told you I didn't think I was worthy of them yet. There's a great difference. And you may have no desire to do me harm, but you're doing a damn good job of it anyway.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-29 02:04 am (UTC)I wrote of this message to make things clear, not to muddy waters further and, instead, we are having arguments. So, I will try this a second time.
This situation is not a healthy one. Not for what I must teach her and this is my concern. You are not the only one she lied to, Vladislaus. I was given half-truths, also. I think she even gives them to herself.
And now we have agreement, that is the end of it.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-29 02:16 am (UTC)