vampish_aleera

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So much talk of punishment...

If you wish to have another disciplined, you need but ask Aleera! I have much experience to offer!

WE CAN PLAY THE HURTING GAME TOGETHER!

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You need more contraptions, Toshiko! These make you feel young, not like old maid!

Difficult ones! Puzzling ones! Ones of much complexity!

...

I've got enough complexity to be getting on with. I haven't really been feeling myself since Harper left, that's all.

What are you needing...?

[Hey Aleera! You're the only one who gets actual honesty. Feel special.]

I don't know any more.

[MY PRECIOUSSSSS]

You have no reward, no aim to keep in mind for your end in this place? I recall you reminded me to think in this way, sometimes.

I know, I know. I have no deal with the Admiral at the moment. I used to want my life back so I could go home, but...there's nothing for me there.

I had not expected this...

Why is there no more for you there?

Well, my team is...Owen and Ianto were both killed, and Gwen has a husband and hopefully more of a life now. Jack's brief appearances on the Barge have demonstrated that he never really gave a damn about me beyond my usefulness to Torchwood.

And my family...we'd already grown apart, and now I'm dead and buried as far they're concerned.

You have much knowledge, Toshiko... You could become great Queen! Why not choose another life? A different time after this?

Or to go to my world... Verona would remember you. Would protect until I return.

I don't think I'd do very well in your world, Aleera, but you have a point. I don't know I could go back to Earth at all. The Barge has shown me so much, it would be like...I don't know. Like touring a palace and then deciding to lock yourself in the caretaker's cupboard for the rest of your life. Somewhere like the last port, maybe.

That is a long way from my world... But you? You are better found in somewhere like this, yes.

There is no wrong in taking a new life for yourself. But do not be shamed by your old. Do not forget it. It has made you the woman you are, today.

Perhaps you can take time from here to go there when you please? And then return? To make you feel as new.

Maybe. I just don't know that I want to go wandering around some distant corner of the universe by myself.

[...]

I thought Harper might have asked me to find him after Rinzler graduates, before he left. I don't know what I would have said, but I thought he might ask. Silly, really.

Anyway, this is all a moot point until Rinzler graduates, and I don't see that on the horizon for a while yet.

Then keep this in mind. Remember it is this which can light your days when you are finished here, hmm?

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