I am not doing so well in relating to the mortals of late. Especially my Warden. I suppose it was inevitable. I've done very well, all things considered, but something had to give eventually.
Lately, in the absence of any real company, I have begun much thinking on those kin who are no longer with us. Missing them. Regretting their loss and my part in it. Call it a...period of mourning, which deepened as time went on. Coupled with current conflicts it was causing me to long very much for escape from this place. Any way that I could. Except of course that there is no way out for me.
I spoke with my Warden and as usual it devolved into conflict. Upon discovering what I mourned, he accused me of whining, of feeling sorry for myself, and finally...well. He informed me that because not all our kin were willingly transformed, our relationship was thus false and I was having fond memories of lies.
Such an exquisite way with words. Such brilliant timing. He tries to rob me of even the right to miss my own and wish they had not died. I informed him multiple times that he had gone too far, and still he pushed.
So finally I became very blunt. I informed him that I would rather die and be with my people than keep on dealing with him. Next thing I know he is restricting me from the deck, threatening to have me locked up...panicking. I have no idea why. Death is impermanent in this place and there is no escape, so why would I go through with leaping off the Barge now that I know that?
[Private/Romanian]
I am not doing so well in relating to the mortals of late. Especially my Warden. I suppose it was inevitable. I've done very well, all things considered, but something had to give eventually.
Lately, in the absence of any real company, I have begun much thinking on those kin who are no longer with us. Missing them. Regretting their loss and my part in it. Call it a...period of mourning, which deepened as time went on. Coupled with current conflicts it was causing me to long very much for escape from this place. Any way that I could. Except of course that there is no way out for me.
I spoke with my Warden and as usual it devolved into conflict. Upon discovering what I mourned, he accused me of whining, of feeling sorry for myself, and finally...well. He informed me that because not all our kin were willingly transformed, our relationship was thus false and I was having fond memories of lies.
Such an exquisite way with words. Such brilliant timing. He tries to rob me of even the right to miss my own and wish they had not died. I informed him multiple times that he had gone too far, and still he pushed.
So finally I became very blunt. I informed him that I would rather die and be with my people than keep on dealing with him. Next thing I know he is restricting me from the deck, threatening to have me locked up...panicking. I have no idea why. Death is impermanent in this place and there is no escape, so why would I go through with leaping off the Barge now that I know that?